As Gen. David Petraeus began his remarks at BYU Thursday night, the commanding general of U.S. Central Command shared his sense of humor by reading the following list, which was received by waves of laughter and applause.
General Petraeus' Top 10 reasons BYU grads make good soldiers:
10 — They have already been on many a mission.
9 — Army chow is no problem for folks accustomed to eating green Jell-o and shredded carrots.
8 — It's not a problem if they don't know what rank someone is, they just refer to them as Brother or Sister so-and-so.
7 — They never go AWOL. They just call it being less active.
6 — They will seize any objective swiftly if you tell them refreshments will be served.
5 — They know how to make things happen. In fact if you ever need a base built quickly in a barren wasteland, stride out to where you want them to start, plant your walking stick down and say in a loud voice, "This is the place."
4 — They have innovative ideas for handling insurgents — like assigning them home teachers.
3 — They always have a years' supply of provisions on hand.
2 — They are the world's most reliable designated drivers.
1 — They understand how far Iraq has come over the last seven years, and they think that Iraq's old spot in the "Axis of Evil" can now be filled by the University of Utah.
Deseret News
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
10 Commandments of a Teenage Boy
1. Thou shalt not try to hide thy chips of corn from before mine eyes. I needest them for my skin above and my bones beneath for I art a growing boy.
2. Thou shalt not make me to cleanest any part of thine house, inasmuch as I likest it just the way it is.
3. Thou shalt not make thy name upon my Facebook page in a wall post or it shall be stricken off before thou can blinkest.
4. Remember the Saturday to keep it wholly for the purpose of mine rest. For in five days I have laboured diligently with mine brain and to grant unto me sleep is to shew mercy unto me.
5. Honour thy son's friends, that his days may be cool upon the land.
6. Thou shalt not kill my unlimited texting plan for it is the steadfast way of the rising generation.
7. Thou shalt not commit the unpardonable sin of leaving me to hunger for forty minutes, nay even forty seconds. Yea, thou shalt lay a store of food up for mine own purposes and none other.
8. Thou shalt not steal my playlist from upon the computer and try to makest me hear thy music. For inasmuch as thou thinkest my music is raucous, thine music smiteth mine ears from off mine face. I ask thee, is it good for mine ears to be smitten? Nay, I say it is not good.
9. Thou shalt not bear me to rise up and putteth away mine cell phone. Not even while I sleepest, for in the day that I do shall surely be the day when a lady, most fair above all ladies, shall text mine phone.
10. Thou shalt not covet mine full dance card, neither my manly lacrosse gloves, neither my mother of questionable humor.
2. Thou shalt not make me to cleanest any part of thine house, inasmuch as I likest it just the way it is.
3. Thou shalt not make thy name upon my Facebook page in a wall post or it shall be stricken off before thou can blinkest.
4. Remember the Saturday to keep it wholly for the purpose of mine rest. For in five days I have laboured diligently with mine brain and to grant unto me sleep is to shew mercy unto me.
5. Honour thy son's friends, that his days may be cool upon the land.
6. Thou shalt not kill my unlimited texting plan for it is the steadfast way of the rising generation.
7. Thou shalt not commit the unpardonable sin of leaving me to hunger for forty minutes, nay even forty seconds. Yea, thou shalt lay a store of food up for mine own purposes and none other.
8. Thou shalt not steal my playlist from upon the computer and try to makest me hear thy music. For inasmuch as thou thinkest my music is raucous, thine music smiteth mine ears from off mine face. I ask thee, is it good for mine ears to be smitten? Nay, I say it is not good.
9. Thou shalt not bear me to rise up and putteth away mine cell phone. Not even while I sleepest, for in the day that I do shall surely be the day when a lady, most fair above all ladies, shall text mine phone.
10. Thou shalt not covet mine full dance card, neither my manly lacrosse gloves, neither my mother of questionable humor.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Alphabet Game
Have you ever gotten stuck while playing the alphabet game? We all have. Well, someone felt our angst and did this:
How awesome!!!!!
How awesome!!!!!
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