Temper Tantrums

This is so funny!

Twilight, What Have You Done to my Wife?

Awesome!

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.  Here are some examples:  

FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES:
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them.

SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5,000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

When I grow up...

Stupid criminals!

December 7, 2009

Overnight snowfall helped police track down a man driving a stolen car.

A West Valley City police officer noticed a stolen car on 4000 West near 4100 South around 1 a.m. When he tried to pull over the car, the driver took off.

Officers called in police dogs and followed fresh footprints in the snow to find the suspect around the corner.

Sgt. M.T. Johnson with the West Valley City Police Department said, "It was a good night for us and a bad night for him."

Eddie Garza was booked into jail for driving a stolen car, fleeing and possession of a burglary instrument.

(hee, hee, hee!)

Things You Don't Say To Your Wife

Baby Care