Mitt Romney is so Mormon…

Mitt Romney is so Mormon…
…his campaign bus is a pioneer handcart.
…he'd call 19-year-old boys to serve as US ambassadors.
…his Israel policy will be centered on Jackson County, Missouri.
…he'll make the income tax a flat 10% and collect fast offerings to fund Medicaid.
…he'll ask the Senate to "sustain" his appointees by manifesting with an uplifted hand.
…..that his campaign "oppo" team has done all the other candidates' genealogy.
…he's organizing his precinct walkers in pairs to knock on doors with a very special message.
…he'd make the Book of Mormon required reading at the Bureau of Indian Affairs.
…he'll choke up during his inaugural address and then say, "I told myself I wasn't going to cry."
…he will commission a presidential motorcade entirely of 10-passenger family vans.
…he's concerned about joining the Tea Party because of Doctrine & Covenants 89.
…he'll start the State of the Union with the words: "I wasn't going to come up here, but the Spirit just carried me off of the bench."
…his campaign biography begins, "I, Willard, having been born of goodly parents."
…he'll ask members of Congress to go home and pray about his economic plan.
…he'd ask the Elders Quorum to help move him into the White House.
…his first act will be to make July 24th a national holiday.
…he asks donors to stack chairs after fundraising dinners.
…he'll award Ty Detmer, Steve Young, and Jimmer Fredette the Congressional Medal of Honor.
…his campaign slogan is "What do you know about Mitt Romney? Would you like to know more?"
…he'll reroute the Freedom Trail through Palmyra, New York; Nauvoo, Illinois; and Winter Quarters, Iowa.
…he'll rename the "Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms" the "Word of Wisdom Squad".
…he'd do an ad for mormon.org stating: "I'm a husband, father, and leader of the free world. And I'm a Mormon."
…he isn't as concerned about getting American youth jobs as he is about getting them married.
…he tried to convince CNN to let him bring a visual aid to the debate so he could turn it into an object lesson.
…that he refers to Congress as "The Great and Spacious Building."
…he'll end every address with "hope you'll all get home safely, without any harm or accident."
…he'll assign a friend to every new member of Congress.
…he's already picked out a room in the White House for his year's supply of wheat and beans, and he'll require the White House Chef to rotate the food storage.
…he doesn't campaign. He "fellowships."
…he's having two basketball hoops installed at the Inaugural Ball so there's a place to hang decorations.
…he'll change the name of "Cabinet Meeting" to "Correlation Meeting".
…if he gets elected all of the White House 9x13 pans would have a piece of masking tape on them with the name "Romney" written in Sharpie.
…he has four cats named 1st Nephi, 2nd Nephi, 3rd Nephi, and 4th Nephi (4th Nephi is the smallest).
…late last night he snuck out to put 5000 plastic forks in the lawn of Jon Huntsman. And after that, he heart attacked Rick Perry.
…he's going to rename the 101st Airborne as "The Stripling Warriors."
…he'll rename FEMA the Federal Relief Society.
…he'll start his acceptance speech with "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."
…the Marine Band will play "Praise to the Man" when he enters a room.
…he'll appoint Lavell Edwards as Secretary of Defense.
…he won't allow advisers wearing non-white dress shirts to participate in cabinet meetings.
…he'll rename the weekly presidential address "Politics and the Spoken Word."
…his cabinet would consist entirely of unqualified, yet enthusiastic, volunteers.
…he'd convene a Munch-N-Mingle after cabinet meetings, with refreshments blessed "to nourish and strengthen our bodies".
…he'd hang a copy of the Proclamation on the Family and a picture of the Washington, D.C. LDS temple in the White House.
…he has volunteers combing through old GOP voter rolls for less actives he can reactivate.
…he'd put everyone in his stake on the inauguration invite list. Just because.
…he will add the phrases "every fiber of my being" and "beyond a shadow of a doubt" to the presidential oath of office.
…the Inaugural Dinner will be Ham, Funeral Potatoes, green Jell-o, and red Kool-Aid.