Dear Life

When I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge!

Sisters

You and I are sisters.  Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up…

…after I finish laughing!

Butter

I love you more than Paula Deen loves butter!

Makeup

PMS

How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six.

Why?

It just does, okay?

How I Learned to Mind My Own Business

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, “13…….13…….13.”

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting, “14…….14…….14.”

Late